love yourself.

hi friends! today I have a little more personal of a blog that I wanted to share with y’all. it’s been something that has been on my heart to write about, solely because I feel like it affects so many people today. I want to talk about confidence, self worth, and body image. I was recently asked, “what is one problem that you see in young girls, and what would you like to do to try and fix it?” it took me a minute to think about it, but as a young girl myself, it was a bit of a reflection. what came to my mind was ultimately body image and how we see ourselves. have you at some point, been unhappy with how you look, or have felt pressured to change something about yourself? the majority of you will probably say yes, including myself. in the times we’re living in, the internet and media oriented culture pretty much dominates all, influencing our mindset and choices, whether we realize it or not. we’re bombarded with pictures of celebs, ads for the latest diet trends, and so much more. most of it is pretty unrealistic, but sometimes it doesn’t come across like that to us. we’re constantly trying to be skinnier, healthier, smarter, prettier, whatever it may be. unfortunately, I’m no stranger to this, but things have changed, and I want to share my story with y’all, hoping to change things for you too.

for those of you that don’t know, I’m naturally a big girl, coming in at 6’1, pushing 6’2 tbh. I’m pretty much your friendly neighborhood giraffe, but human haha! I’ve been like this since I was little, always literally standing out in school. comments like “omg you’re so tall” became the norm for me, but I was cool with it! aside from the occasional kid who’d be a jerk about it, my tallness kinda became my persona. when high school came around, not only was I tall, but I was pretty chunky too, weighing in at about 240 pounds at my heaviest. I just chalked it up to me eatin’ good and not doing any activity, but there was always little doubts in my mind about my looks. I would consider myself level headed in regards to self worth, but my confidence didn’t always shine through. I wasn’t fully unhappy with myself, but I wasn’t trying to take any steps towards change. I kind of started my transformation, both physically and mentally, without really knowing it, in the start of my freshman year. bit of a long story ahead, but I had been asked by a coach in my freshman year to join my school basketball team, for my height of course. as an overweight teen who only wanted to watch Netflix and had never played sports, I casually said “maybe,” thinking that nothing would ever come from it. he needed everyone he could get, so on tryout day, every girl made the team – including me. with a miniscule voice in my head, one from my parents, and the voice of my coach encouraging me each day at practice, I held out trusting that something good would come out of the difficulty I faced. never having done much physical activity before I found basketball, I was always behind my other teammates, who could run across the court without wanting to immediately stop, unlike myself. It’s kind of embarrassing to say this now, but I would actually come home from practice every day after being last in every run and just cry, praying that God would give me the strength to persevere. I finished my season, but knew I needed to get in shape for next season on my own. I started running, and in fact, it was running as far as I could (which was probably less than a tenth of a mile at that time), walking, and then running again. surprisingly, I looked forward to it every morning, and I would keep it up every day of the summer. naturally, I improved over time and I had felt so proud! I had started to lose some weight, which was nice, but I started to feel more confident and energized, and more purposeful with my actions. then, the school year approached and I faced another new opportunity. a dear friend of mine had asked me if I wanted to join the Cross Country team at my school. I was shocked, but I knew that if I wanted to get serious about this newfound hobby, this was the way to do it! I joined the team and started out in last place, only to drop my race times by almost 10 minutes over the course of the season. I loved it so much, and would later go to complete track and field as a varsity runner in the spring and leave basketball behind. after losing 60 pounds, making drastic improvements in my race times, earning two varsity captain roles, and completing two half marathons in a year, I knew I was a changed person. now, I have achievements, self-confidence, and community. I have something to call all my own, a new lifestyle that I’ve built for myself. running gave me something that wasn’t exactly in my life earlier – a meaningful connection to something, a story. it gave me my passion, my inspiration for this site, so much more.

the transformation to a healthier, happier girl, who managed to learn lots about herself along the way…

coming back to my talk about body image, losing some weight and changing to some healthier habits definitely helped my struggles with confidence and body image, but when it comes down to it, what changed was my heart. I don’t desire to look like America’s Next Top Model or follow the routine of a celebrity, because my body and all that comes with it is uniquely mine. my stretch marks aren’t something I try to hide, they signify how much work I put in over the last 3 years. my long legs and size 12 feet, that require special shopping - might I add, don’t strike me as abnormal, because they allow me to do what I love - run. even with my weight loss, being bigger than the average girl is ok, because there’s just that much more to love ;) today, I inspire you to find the things that make you uniquely you, and I want you to say what you love about them. in starting this site, I want to contribute something positive to the digital age we live in… I want to contribute love. I wanted to share my story today, because it’s complex + different, and how we think of ourselves is like that sometimes. our confidence doesn’t come from our looks alone, but also our actions and how we present ourselves. I want you to know that you are loved and valued, and that you are capable of making any change, whether it be physical or mental, to better yourself. how others think you should be is not your problem -it’s theirs. all you can do is embrace who God made you to be, and help build others up in the process. you are beautiful, and the best advice I can give you, is to love yourself.